A Funny Email To Forward About Cancelling Credit Cards

We know that when somebody dies, anybody that is owed money needs to claim it under the estate, as long as there is money left in the estate.  Some cases, however, people still try to claim money long after the estate is closed.  Here is a funny email about a credit card money who is trying to charge a dead person late fees for not closing the account.  Isn't that ridiculous?  Hope you enjoy this funny email!

Here's the really funny email:
Subject: Cancelling Your Credit Card

Cancel your credit card before you die..........(hilarious!) 

Now some people are really stupid!!!!

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.

This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.


Here is the exchange :

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'
Citibank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'
Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been'
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
Citibank: 'Excuse me?'
Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'
Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'



Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'
Citibank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
Citibank: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)
Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )


After they get the fax :

Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'
Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.'
(What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'
Citibank: 'That might help..'
Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
Citibank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???'

Priceless!! Have you wondered why Citi is going broke and need the feds to bail them out!!

A Funny Email To Forward About A Funeral And A Blonde Mortitian

When someone dies, and is brought to the funeral home, the funeral employees (morticians) listen and accommodate to the family's wishes so that the last time the family sees their loved one is a beautiful, memorable and peaceful one. One of the things that needs to be done is to choose how they will look in the coffin, including the clothing. So how do morticians go about dressing these people who have passed away? Here is a great funny email to forward about a widow's experience at the funeral home with a blonde mortician. Hope you enjoy!

Here's the really funny email:
Subject: Blonde Mortician

Blonde Mortician.


A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.

She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.

She gives the Blonde mortician a blank cheque and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake.

To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly ...

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank cheque.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. . . . . . . ...



So I just switched the heads.'

BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING!!!

Funny things to email about Language at Work

Do you have the occasional coworker that uses inappropriate language at work, and you want to help them not get fired from their loose tongue? Here is a funny email to forward to work friends and colleagues that need clarification on what type of language should be used at work.

Here's the Email:
Subject: Language At Work


Cussing at Work

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore,a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1


TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this by?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD O F: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Funny things to send: the world's shortest fairy tale

Barely any time at work to look for funny emails to forward to friends? So busy at work with many assignments and projects that you only have time for a very short funny story? Well here's a funny email to send to friends and coworkers who are too busy for anything but a quick laugh.

Here's the Email:
Subject: World's shortest fairy tale



Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'

The GIRL SAID 'NO!'

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


THE END

I told you it was going to be short!

Funny things to email about Girls Night Out and Cemetary Peeing

We know that once in a while, it's good to go out with friends to celebrate and have fun. Occasionally, it gets a little too rowdy, and after a hard night of partying, and one drinks too many, it can get pretty ugly, often with forgotten moments and blank outs. But what is the price that people pay for not remembering what they did the night before? Here is a really funny email story of two women who had a night out in the town with hazy moments; definitely a funny email to send to your friends who love to party hard!

Here's the Email:
Subject: GOTTA PEE

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.

She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the woman's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the
other husband and said: 'These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!'

'That's nothing' said the other husband, 'Mine came back with a card stuck to her rear that said.....

'From all of us at the Fire Station..
We'll never forget you.''

I bet you they won't forget this!

Funny things to email about a Hospital Tour

Hospitals are bustling with activity. Often, we learn about what hospitals do from shows such as General Hospital, ER, Grey's Anatomy, House, Nip/Tuck, and so on, and we often see or hear about procedures that we never knew existed. As a health student, I've had several tours of hospitals, and even I learn about procedures in class, I probably have a funny face the whole time because I am so confused. The following funny email story is about a disease and subsequent treatment that I've definitely never heard of before... have you? Read on and get ready to laugh!

Here's the Email:
Subject: Hospital Tour

A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital. During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.

'Oh my GOD!' screamed the woman. 'That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?'

The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained: 'I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture.'

'Oh, well in that case, I guess it's okay,' said the woman.

As they passed by the very next room, they saw a male patient laying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him. Again, the woman screamed, 'Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified?'

Again the doctor spoke very calmly: 'Same illness, better health plan'

NOW THAT'S FUNNY, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE !!!

Funny things to email about writing in His and Hers Diary

If you have ever taken a psychology class, you learn that women and men communicate differently, and it is seen in their speaking and writing styles. They say that there is a difference in brain structure between the sexes, but does it really make a noticeable difference? Well here is a funny story that contains an entry each in a woman's and a man's diary and see if you notice a funny difference in the stories!

Here's the Email:
Subject: His and Hers Diary

HER DIARY

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep -I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.


HIS DIARY

My Ski-Doo wouldn't start today, but at least I got laid.

Hmm... yeah, I can see a slight difference :)